


Mummify Sense a Kill

by Jolie_Black



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Holmes Brothers, Holmes Brothers snark, Humor, Season/Series 03, Sherlock Is A Bit Not Good, Silly, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7704019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jolie_Black/pseuds/Jolie_Black
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mycroft is getting anonymous text messages of an increasingly sinister nature. Sherlock is only too happy to solve the mystery for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mummify Sense a Kill

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ijustsigneduptofollow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijustsigneduptofollow/gifts).



* * *

**From: John Watson**  
**10:31 a.m.**

 

(JW) Sherlock? Join Mary & me for lunch?

(SH) Sorry, busy.

(JW) Got a case on?

(SH) Mycroft's getting mysterious text messages from an undisclosed number.

(JW) What do they say?

(SH) No. 1: "Mourning dead son"  
No. 2: "Finish bouncer news phobia"

(JW) What the hell?

(SH) Good question.

(JW) Sound more like your line of work than Mycroft's, though.

(SH) Guess why he's trying to dump this on me.

 

* * *

 

**From: Mycroft Holmes**

**10:53 a.m.**

 

(MH) No. 3: "Bitch fiddling, butt worse." What am I to make of THAT?

(SH) Nothing. I told you it could be just some pervert. There you go.

(MH) Sherlock, this is my PRIVATE phone. Only a handful of people have the number, and they're ALL above suspicion in that field.

(SH) Sure?

(MH) Ha ha. Listen, I'm currently trying to brief the Prime Minister on the ramifications of the Russian annexation of the Crimea, and this is getting a bit distracting. Sort it out.

 

* * *

 **To: John Watson**  
**11:14 a.m.**

 

(SH) Mycroft's just got message No. 4: "Mummify sense a kill."

(JW) Definitely taking a sinister turn now.

(JW) I'm actually getting a bit worried here.

(SH) Then you'll like No. 5: "Sheer choking carrion for lunacy."

(JW) Whoa! Nasty! You sure it's a case and not a death threat?

(SH) Mycroft's started wondering, too.

(JW) Can't he trace who's sending them?

(SH) Pay-as-you-go SIM card. Will take a while.

(JW) ARE you taking this seriously?

(SH) Treating it with all the gravity it deserves, I assure you.

 

* * *

  
**From: Mycroft Holmes**  
**11:22 a.m.**

 

(MH) No. 6: "Go to hell now. Bye-bye!" Sherlock, this is enough.

(SH) I agree. It's your filial duty to go and stop it.

(MH) I beg your pardon?

(SH) It's not about me, Mycroft. It's not about you. It's about our parents.

(MH) WHAT?

(SH) Better hurry!

 

* * *

**From: John Watson**

**11:53 a.m.**

 

(JW) Wow - did you see the news, Sherlock?

(JW) There's this huge counter-terrorism op or whatever going on out in the country.

(JW) Helicopters, special forces abseiling in full combat gear, snipers on the roofs, road blocks, police everywhere...

(JW) Looks like a hostage rescue, or something!

(SH) Well, what about it?

(JW) Isn't that the village where your parents live?

(SH) Yes, of course it is.

(SH) I hope someone's showing our father how to disable autocorrect on his new smartphone right now.

(JW) WTF???????

(SH) Can't let the British Government get sidetracked by supposed death threats on a daily basis, from now on.

(JW) OMG, I totally see it now!

(SH) I hope our father's figured out the camera function yet. Can't wait to see Mycroft's face when he realises.

(JW) How come you got it straight away and Mycroft didn't???

(SH) Never texts when he can talk, remember?

(JW) Bloody hell. 

 

* * *

 **From: Mycroft Holmes**  
**12:34 p.m.**

 

(MH) SHERWOOD! YOU BASKET!!!!!!!

 

* * *

THE END

 

**Author's Note:**

> For ijustsigneduptofollow, because she's the Queen of Autocorrect. Sorry, dear, I know I said "casefic" and this is a caselet at best. But I hope it makes you smile. 
> 
> Off the cuff and unbetaed. All mistakes are my phone's.
> 
> For the Mycrofts among you (;-)), this is what poor Mr Holmes really tried to type: 
> 
> 1\. Morning dear son.  
> 2\. Finally bought new phone.  
> 3\. Bit fiddly, but works.  
> 4\. Mummy sends a kiss.  
> 5\. She's chopping carrots for lunch.  
> 6\. Got to help now. Bye-bye!


End file.
